For adults
Men, fathers, couples and families
One-on-one work with the Ideal Parent Figure protocol for people carrying old attachment patterns into their relationships and their parenting.
Free 15-minute consultIAT-Certified Attachment Therapist
Most people aren’t broken. They’re adapted.
Attachment repair for men, fathers, parents and families, with a therapist trained directly by the developers of the Ideal Parent Figure protocol.
“Daniel Ahearn has done something rare. He has translated a sophisticated clinical model into language that parents can actually use.”
Who I work with
Attachment repair, at any age.
For parents
Parents of teenagers
The book, a free daily practice and weekly groups, all built on the five conditions of secure attachment and the R.E.A.L. repair method.
Explore the parent pathFor organizations
Treatment programs and clinical teams
Consulting on attachment-informed culture, staff retention and therapeutic programming, drawn from a decade inside residential adolescent treatment.
Organizations and teams
For parents of teens
Where are you right now?
The hardest moments with a teenager are small and specific. The daily practice meets you inside them, in about the time it takes to breathe three times.
Open the free appThe R.E.A.L. Method
A four-step way back after a rupture.
Ruptures are inevitable. What builds secure attachment is what happens next. R.E.A.L. is the repair pattern at the center of my parent groups, and it anchors my work with men and couples too.
R
Step one
Regulate the breath
Repair can’t start from a flooded nervous system. Pause first. Your teen’s nervous system is watching yours.
E
Step two
Explore the moment
Before you turn toward them, turn toward yourself. What just got activated in you?
A
Step three
Attune with empathy
Try to understand what happened for them. You may get it wrong. The try is what matters.
L
Step four
Lean back in
The gesture of return. An apology, a seat beside them, a look that says the relationship is still here.
Hear a practice
Most of what I teach is meant to be heard.
Guided visualizations are the heart of this work. Take two minutes with one before you decide anything else.
Condition two
Attunement
Being truly seen, without being fixed, corrected or redirected
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Now on Audible · Paperback · Kindle
The Way Back Home
Healing Attachment Wounds With Your Teen
A practical guide for parents navigating the hardest years of the parent-child relationship. If your teenager is pulling away, shutting down or pushing you out, this book explains why, and what to do about it.
Featured in Lion’s Roar
Selected essays
Parenting Teens with PresenceFive ways to support and connect with your teenage children.How to Be Honest With YourselfFalse positivity erodes truth and intimacy. A path toward honesty.The Nine Breaths of PurificationA short Bön practice to clear the mind and reconnect with the body.All writingParent support groups
Do this work alongside other parents.
National, Zoom-based groups for parents of teens. Attachment-informed, practical and capped at 12, with R.E.A.L. practiced on the ruptures parents are living that week.
Begin where you are.
A free 15-minute call to talk through what you’re looking for and whether we’re a good fit.