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The Way Back Home
Healing Attachment Wounds With Your TeenIf your teenager is shutting down, pulling away, or in constant conflict, this book explains the attachment science behind it, and what you can actually do about it.
“Daniel Ahearn has done something rare. He has translated a sophisticated clinical model into language that parents can actually use.”
Who it’s for
You might recognize yourself here
- Your teenager has pulled away and you don’t know why
- Every conversation turns into a conflict
- You’re grieving the relationship you used to have
- You’ve tried boundaries and consequences, and nothing sticks
- You suspect your own history is part of the picture
What’s inside
What the book covers
- The attachment science behind adolescent withdrawal and conflict
- How your own attachment history shows up in your parenting
- The Ideal Parent Figure framework, adapted for families
- Practical repair for ruptures, shutdown, and distance
- Staying present when you’re activated, without performing calm
The framework
The five conditions of secure attachment
The book is built around the core relational experiences that allow security to develop, drawn from the work of Dr. Daniel P. Brown and Dr. David Elliott and applied to parenting teenagers.
1
Safety
Building the secure foundation.
2
Attunement
Connection over correction.
3
Soothing
Regulating before solving.
4
Expressed delight
The engine of self-esteem.
5
Exploration
Boundaries that strengthen bonds.
Inside the book
The R.E.A.L. Method
Chapter 7 introduces R.E.A.L., a four-step way back after a rupture: Regulate the breath, Explore the moment, Attune with empathy, Lean back in. Parents practice it in the support groups and every day in the free app.
About the author
Daniel J. Ahearn is an LMFT and IAT-certified attachment therapist and Director of Culture at Ascend Healthcare, a residential treatment program for adolescents in Los Angeles. The book distills over a decade of clinical work with teenagers and their parents into a framework any family can use.
More about Daniel
Bring it into your family.
If you’d like support putting the book into practice, start with a free 15-minute call.